Rajasthan: Dalit Couple to Tie Knot — Bearing Witness to Constitution, Not Holy Fire; To Take 7 Resolutions Instead of Religious Bandwagon

There won’t be any exchange of dowry. An appeal has been made to invitees to present books and saplings as gifts.

Abdul Mahir

Jaipur: In a first-of-its-kind marriage, a Dalit couple in Rajasthan’s Bhilwara district is set to tie knots by taking oath on Constitution. They will walk seven steps together and take seven resolutions.

As a step towards a social change, Mamta Meghvanshi and Krishna Verma (both lawyers) will get married on March 18 at Ambedkar Bhawan in Sidiyas village of Mandal tehsil. The bride is the daughter of famous Dalit social activist Bhanwar Meghvanshi.

By solemnising marriage in such an unconventional way, the duo wants to give out a message of “love, compassion, affection, generosity, justice and equality”. Instead of dowry, books and plants will be gifted to the bride and groom at the wedding. Along with the resolution to create a new society, a resolution will also be taken to preserve all the grazing animals, birds, rivers, mountains and environment.

Following the footsteps of Dr BR Ambedkar and his wife Dr Sharda Kabir, the couple will neither perform the ritual of agni pradakshinam (walking around the fire with hands linked or with the ends of their garments tied together), nor will there be noise of DJ tunes in the marriage ceremony. It will be conducted by Bhante Dr Siddharth Vardhan — who will recite Mangalsutra (Vedic hymns) during the Paanigrahan ceremony (one of the key steps of Hindu wedding ritual wherein taking bride’s right hand in his left, the groom accepts her as his wife).

After the marriage ceremony, the bride and groom will plant saplings.

How is it different from other marriages?

Writer and social activist Bhanwar Meghvanshi told The Mooknayak that his daughter’s marriage is free from dowry, pollution and traditions.

Generally, lagana lekhan (a pre-wedding worship that is held at the bride’s house) is organised to decide muhurta (the auspicious date and time for the wedding) by a priest. The ritual is followed by a turmeric, sandalwood and mehndi (myrtle) ceremony. Pre-wedding shoots also happen these days. Then the wedding procession arrives.

The groom hits the pylon with the sword. Then both the bride and groom undertake seven rounds of holy fire. There is a tradition of visiting a temple to pay obeisance to gods and goddesses. Farewell is done by displaying the dowry. “No such ritual will be performed in my daughter’s wedding,” he claimed, adding that the marriage will take place under the Special Marriage Act. It can also be called a legal marriage.

What are those seven resolutions?

The bride and groom will take a pledge at every. By taking seven steps together, they will take seven different resolutions — which are as follows.

“In the presence of our family and loved ones, bearing witness to the Constitution of India, we take a pledge that from today onwards we will mutually partner in complementing each other’s life.”

“We pledge that our partnership will be based on mutual trust and equality. We will spend our lives and prosper by respecting each other and as friends.”

“We pledge that we will fulfill all the responsibilities of our life together with full devotion. Our collaborative life will be dedicated to the betterment of the country, the world and the society. We pledge that our conduct will be in accordance with the Constitution of India, justice, equality, liberty and fraternity. We will give each other respect, honor and dignity.”

“We take a pledge that we will protect, promote and respect all the creatures, nature and environment in the spirit of goodwill, harmony, friendship and cooperation. And we will be friendly towards all living beings, animals, birds, rivers, ponds, mountains and seas.”

“We pledge that we will face difficult situations, negativity, disappointments and moments of struggle in life with complete patience, compassion, generosity and understanding. We will support each other.”

“We take a pledge that even if there is any change in our relationship with time, we will respect each other. We will look back on the time spent together with friendship, harmony and satisfaction. We will help each other to get out of any situation.”

“We pledge in your presence that we will draw inspiration from our forefathers like Tathagath Gautam Buddha, Saint Kabir, Ramsa Pir, Jyotiba Phule, Savitri Bai, Fatima Shaikh, Baba Saheb Ambedkar, Bhagat Singh and Mahatma Gandhi and with the strength of our ancestors and nature.”

What is the relevance of these resolutions?

Mamta said the resolutions are based on constitutional values — equality, mutual trust, respect and dignity for each other and no discrimination of any kind on the basis of gender and age. “This will bring a cultural change in the society,” she said.

She further said, “Generally, in a marriage, seven rounds are taken around the holy fire — considering it as a witness. Half the time, the groom leads the bride. Pandits chant mantras, they show gender discrimination. Most of them give less importance to women and more importance to men. The girl has to promise that she will do anything as per her husband’s wish. She will be the owner of all the property. Instead of making rounds around the fire, we decided to take resolutions at every step. By doing this, we are creating a new world where there is room for everyone.”

Mamta further said she is from Mewar region of Rajasthan where, even today, the daughter is tied to the chains of social traditions. “I believe that when I put forward a demand, why can’t the boy fulfill it? I made the decision during my studies. I had decided that I would not marry with such traditions. My father supported me in this. Society wants to forget real life and live in reel life.” she concluded.

On the other hand, the groom said it was his dream to move away from pomp and show while getting married.

“My family supported this. The bride’s family believes in constitutional values. So, we decided to get married under the Special Marriage Act. Education teaches us to spend our lives in accordance with the Constitution. Spending money on weddings has become a hobby of the rich. Even the poor are ruining themselves in order to compete with their richer counterparts in the society. That’s why we decided to get married this way. Two people want to live together with consent: this is the only meaning of marriage,” he said.

What message does marriage intend to give to society?

Bhanwar said that there is no need to live life in fear of any religious supernatural forces. “This is the decision of your life. Take it wisely. The Constitution should be considered supreme in life. This is the greater message of this marriage at a time when the Constitution is under constant threat,” he said, adding that the Constitution, which has given people the status of human beings, must be valued.

“We should become a lawful society. Start living together in life with the resolution to say no to traditions and dowry,” he concluded.

– Translated into English from Hindi by Tarique Anwar

Courtesy : The Mooknayak

Note: This news piece was originally published in themooknayak.com and used purely for non-profit/non-commercial purposes exclusively for Human Right